Haven't done one of these in a while....

*Courtesy of Toure via Twitter..

Seen on Facebook: Neil Brady went from "married" to "hating your guts and sleeping with your sister! Bye forever!"

Best quote in a while...

"Whoever is behind Rhianna's marketing plan should go down in history. Rhianna and BARBIE: best marketing strategies EVER." -Z.

LOL

Adventures in Online Dating...

Ok so I've been told by a close friend that I'm going to hell for posting about my online dating adventures. But lemme set the record straight:
If I were to find a half-way sane individual with a drive in life, similar characteristics to me so we didn't want to kill eachother half the time, an appreciation for strong women (unlike my idiot-box-head ex who follows steaks with spam), a challenging wit, a intellect that stimulates my ADHD lol and a face, smile and connection that make we want to sit on my couch instead of playing on my computer or being out playing with my city then YES, I would cease the opportunity. But much like in real life (irl in net speak lol), I have met many a bozo still. (Not to say I haven't met a few shining potentials, but uh no superstars...yet). This brings me to: PEOPLE SAYWRITE ME THE DARNEDEST THINGS!

**Note pictures names and times have been removed so I don't seem cruel to *AG lol**

1. "...Ok, I'm trying to figure out what happened with you. You're far too sweet and down to earth to be as pretty as you are. Were you raised by wild cocker spaniels? Or is one of your parents Oprah or Montel? I also wind up being the rock. It gets tiresome sometimes, doesn't it?"

*M.: Cocker Spaniels? I think that was er uh kinda supposed to be a compliment and then a cliche (wild dogs) but of all the ones you thought of the most A-Typical Grandma dog? And then put Oprah and Montel in the same sentence???....I'm just so confused...

2. "...i saw you in the chat room before,,,i wanted to chat with u,,but i was busy....

Your profile is truly wonderful and splendid You are a stunningly beautiful and very sexy woman

Mark in the Bronx"

*M.: If you were busy, WHY were you in the chat room?! I do appreciate being called "splendid" though...THANKS!

3. I see that you live just outside my drive zone to start a relationship, however I'm wondering if your available to make a new friend? John

*M.: LOL! "Drive zone" sorry but nuff said...

4. ...Hi sweetie, obviously, you are a very lovely, charming and alluring lady and your beauty captures me. I would love to get to know you better. I'm sure you've been bombarded by a multitude of men and I do not want to come across as another man desperately seeking instant gratification. I'm new to the Dallas, Texas area finishing my medical internship. I have about a year left in clinical internship before I start my private practice as an obgyn. I really do not like this email thing because it is so impersonal and sometimes delays the inevitable (good or bad). If permitted I'd like to chat with you over the phone to hasten getting to know you better, or delaying the process of moving to find that special someone. Either way I think a personal, live and in real time contact will be to our benefit. When sharing numbers I would suggest a cell phone, since it is something I can still maintain a degree of control over.

Also I'd love to see more pictures of you sweetheart, my direct email address is blah blah Even though you and I live in different areas, this is not a major issue to me because I can come to you or bring you to me, (if it develops to that). Well, I guess that is everything and I'm standing on my tiptoes waiting to hear from you! Until then, I'll be waiting!By the way, the Name CandyCane7in has no sexual connotations; it refers to a peppermint stick that was .15 cents when I was a child that was 7i inches long. There was a 9-inch peppermint stick that was .25 cents that I never had enough money to get as a child. Because I was always seen with the 7-inch peppermint stick it became my nickname, CandyCane7in. Image what you would have thought had I said, CandyCane9in. (smile)!!

PS: I'd really like to meet your parents, thank them for making you, clone their reproductive organs and sale them because you are one of a kind and strikingly beautiful!!!(smile) -Ellington

*M.: ::Staring blankly:: I think he just ruined my favorite holiday treat...and it's "sell" not "sale" aren't you past MED SCHOOL?! didn't ya learn the basics?! (Fyi he looks way past 50)

5.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL You are beautiful,the sun worships you at the breaking of day,and greets you with the warming of its rays.The wind whispers your name as it rustles through the trees along its way.Trees bow down whenever you pass as they greet you as you step slowly past. The waters churn whenever you are near for they feel the wonder of your presence.Your eyes shine with the sparkle of precious diamonds,your smile radiates your warmth to everyone within sight of you.Your voice beckons those you call to be near you and stay with you.Your gaze melts even the coldest hearts and turns grown men into children.You are beautiful beyond words can ever say,you are precious far more than anything.Should anyone say you are nothing,just remember this,you are beautiful in every special way.

*M.: I'm just curious dude...exactly HOW many people have you sent this too? And WHAT Hallmark card circa 1981 did you get it off of??

*And drum roll please for the dummy of the day! (The following conversation has not been altered in ANY way...for better or worse)*

“DaVinci”:hey goodlooking how you doing how come you single?

M.:because i cant find a man smarter than me

“DaVinci”:Oh reallyTell me 5 reasons you single

M.: LMAO...u just proved my point...

“DaVinci”: women always smart with they mouth but when it come to business they aint smart What happend between you and your ex?

M.:"when it come"...wow...I was published, handling million dollar accounts and traveling for business as well as working solely for presidents by the time I was 21...from the looks of your page, I highly doubt any women you even come in contact with are even of my caliber especially when you make a blanket statement like that... please refrain from further questioning.

“DaVinci”: I didn't get it be more specifique

::Sigh::

Better than I thought I was...

The following conversation ensued between a fellow creative and I while discussing possible aliases:

G.:thats gonna be my start. im gonna act my ass off and my stage name is T**** S**** B****
done deal, its a wrap, go home

M.:T****? Lol

G.:yah (explains pronunciation that I already understood...)

M.:Then take the h out

G.:in a book it means... famous/divine. online it means God's Glory either way its the deal..
i know,i was debating that crap...yea i think i am

with the H it feels full, then it will be 567
(took out names because they arent important for the point)

M.:Then u kno in articles it'll always be " born ::your real name::, ::stage name:: blah blah"

G.:thats y its a STAGE NAME is rihannas real name rihanna

M.: Ok ninja

G.:FUCK NO! im just sayin ::real name:: is real sweet

M.: Oprah...Nuff said Lol Angela..Kerry...WORK speaks. Not names

G.: tru that but look up what oprah means..yea i might just keep it real wit ::real name::

M.:Ninja wtf does kerry and angela mean

G.: atleast ill respond. i was thinkin whut if they call that name and i just sit there cuz im not used to it

M.:Or angelina lol

G.:lmao that would be some funny shit

ima look

M.: Lol

G.: whut does ::M.'s real name:: mean ima look it up

M.: Peace and world

G.:thats hot

M.: Kannon my middle means a deity that protects humanity and mothers n children

G.:so u mother earth then got it

M.: Lol

G.: well me over here is blessed & gracious with a strong arm..thats kinda hot...hold up
lol

M.: Lol Seeeee

G.:ha i suppose. i think cuz im so used to it and i get bored easily

M.: Just as life Its what YOU make it

G.:i looked up mad peoples names and its so true to who they are good job M. u had an impact today

M.: Lol

***Sometimes we forget to find the wonderful within before seek what we THINK we are without.***

My new obsession...ah-gain

So in my search for things to entertain, blog content and maybe even that certain someone i have started entertaining online dating. I know shocker right? Up until right NOW only my closest friends and a few select family members were aware of this. I haven't met anyone yet (I'm terrified) But today I stumbled across by FAR the funniest thing yet: www.interracialdatingcentral.com . Yup you got it. A site COMPLETELY dedicated to Interracial dating. DUH I had to see what it was about! You can im, chat in chat rooms, "flirt", it's HILARIOUS. Here's what happened in my first venture into a chat room...

"Peterinbklyn" decided to make a comment that he would get my "black ass on the Q train". Of course this didn't fly with me particularly because he was white, 40 and overweight let alone who are you to refer to anything about my arse! Here is the chat room aftermath that ensued (I am "LyricalStar1"):

LyricalStar1:y black anything dork face
redmomma09:yeah why not just ass
LyricalStar1:lol
redmomma09:or booty
biraciallady:yea how bout african american LOL
VA_Princess:because it's a figure of speech
peterinbklyn:whats wrong with black??
LyricalStar1:lol
salsapatner:whos a dork face
LyricalStar1:y do you even have to denote it ESPECIALLY not being black
peterinbklyn:ok ok...african american booty
LyricalStar1:PETER is
mixedgrl80:you're kidding right
VA_Princess:people, get over it
biraciallady:what about biracial
biraciallady:booty
peterinbklyn:BROWN booty....nope doesnt sound right
mixedgrl80:BRONZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee
biraciallady:biracial booty
peterinbklyn:biracial booty...i like it
biraciallady:yea it has flavor
redmomma09:lol
LyricalStar1:lol VA i just dont like peter much like ana didnt writer
LyricalStar1:and HE WONT LEMME LONE
peterinbklyn:lyrical...get ur biracial booty on the train!
LyricalStar1:see
biraciallady:LOL
mixedgrl80:peter
VA_Princess:ignore him
mixedgrl80:she's just not that into you
peterinbklyn:im just kidding
LyricalStar1:LMAO
BronzeSkin:roflmao
VA_Princess:lol mixed
LyricalStar1:LMFAOOOOO
peterinbklyn:sorry
LyricalStar1:omg IM DYYYYYYING bwahahahahaha
VA_Princess:ooooo myyyyyy gaaaaawd

UGH! Why is the O'Reilly Factor even on the air?!

*Thanks to my sista from anotha mista for bringing this to my attention.

Like I have said COUNTLESS times before, every now and then we are reminded how a certain fraction of society seems to just want to say to minorities, "Aren't you happy yet?" Here is a clear and ever so present case. Besides the fact the Laura Ingraham makes herself just sound like a complete repressive ignoramus, she's completely uninformed. And sadly so is most of the country. Check this out:


In addition to the fact that I hate this show purely for the basis that they NEVER let anyone present their point or truly have dialogue, this was incredibly ridiculous. This brings me to the top 10 reasons Laura Ingraham is an IGNORANT DUMMY:

5. The ONLY Spike Lee reference out of his vast array and collection you had to refer to was "She's Gotta Have it"? One of the LEAST political? You are preparing a segment on him, a discussion of him and you don't even familiarize yourself with his work? WOMP!

4. "Are you saying I'm hosting the O'Reilly Factor tonight because of affirmative action?" Did you think you got there because of your winning good looks? You look like a pterodactyl gone wrong. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Anniston you are NOT. Here's where much of the majority got effed up in the language of affirmative action. It was an EQUALIZER for minorities, for women, for all those that were UNDERREPRESENTED IN ALL FORMS! It was never a "race legislation" that was just meant to bring up minorities and put white people back. The problem lied in that it BROUGHT TO LIGHT the GLARING discrepancies in our country and showed how vastly we were still segregated so to speak across racial lines and therefore became a "race thing". So before you get your mocking tone sista girl, think on these things, or perhaps READ or else when Sokoni says something like this: "Before affirmative action your college was probably all white males but as a result of affirmative action you benefited from it." You look incredibly stoopid. I mean hello! Did you forget we, as women, were last to get the vote too? BOOP!

3. "If McCain said we're gonna have a real Vanilla country I have a feeling that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, and uh people like them, would be storming McCain headquarters saying denounce this comment,"

Oh Laura ::sigh:: do you hear youself? You went from city to country in 10 seconds....slip much? Could you show your ass any more? But thanks to Sokoni to put it back in perspective:
"If you put all the presidents in a room it would be a vanilla room"

2. "So what do you want? What would make you feel like we've made progress in the united states because apparently a democratic nominee for the presidency does not make you feel like we've really moved beyond this kind of bean counting mentality."

Really Laura? 43 presidents we have had in this country, of those, 27 are post slavery's abolition when we supposedly all became equal lol. That's 108 years, roughly, of presidential terms and you want us to be happy about a nominee? Hmm. ok ::stops counting my beans and presidential terms:: wellsa massa I'll be ons my way and back to my place of never dreaming I could be president.

Furthermore, how dare you form a question to Mr. Sokoni basically asking him to speak for the entire race. You might as well have said, "What do you people want, we threw you a bone!"

1. DC IS KNOWN AS CHOCOLATE CITY DUMB ASS IT WAS A JOKE!

God how dense can you be? There are art references in poetry from the 50s, 60s, 70s. Even white people have heard the phrase and definitely if you live there you're familiar with it. ARE YOU SERIOUS INGRAHAM?! Get a clue.

I'm not even going to touch how off base she was with her comments about imprisoned minorities because as a former poli sci major, friend of many wrongly imprisoned people, I might pop a blood vessel just typing about it and she's not worth ruining my Starbucks.

What I will say is that no Laura, we aren't happy, that man needs to win. That's the change we need.

I hope you're all geared and ready for the 4th because apparently this has turned into an all out new civil war between race, intellect AND money. Where will you stand?

My movie moment of the day,,,

So in my boredom that is work, I decided to reenact Office Space while answering the phones. You know the part where the chick is saying, "Company, just a moooment!" I'm totally getting a kick out of this right. Then by the 10th call or so I come across this caller who I initially had to put on hold. When I returned and asked how I could help him, he promptly whispered, "My stapler...someone took my stapler." HAHAHAHAHA classic.

NEWS FLAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!

Ok now this is actually a post near and dear to my heart. The N WORD is often a topic between many a folk. Black, white, purple, green, everyone has different interpretations on who's allowed to say it and who is not, whether it should be obliterated from our vocabulary altogether etc. I, however, sit on the fence. While I have been the recipient of the slur "nigger" and never tolerate it from my melanin lacking counterparts, I also grew up with "nigga" as an embracing term. As hard as I have tried to replace it with entertaining alternatives such as "ninja" or reject it from my diction, it's almost impossible sometimes because referring to my nearest and dearest as my "favorites", my "buddies" doesn't quite convey the same sentiment as "yo that's my NIGGA!". So needless to say, it's a constant battle.

Nonetheless, this NEVER makes it ok for others to venture into this struggle. I often find myself having to shoot evil glares when I see white, yellow, brown and "other" drop the N-word like it's theirs. What makes me even more upset and tear a page in my Diary of Mad Black Woman lol is when they feed me some excuse about how they grew up or who their friends are. Um excuse me? I don't recall all my extensive upbringing with Jews allowing me to slur off neo-Nazi posters. WTH kinda ish is that? If you can't walk the walk (at all) what makes you think you're allowed to talk it? EH?

Well no matter what side you sit on, here is a VERY funny guide to using the N Word:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

And Richard Pryor is always spot on and timeless...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Where it alllllll begins...

Check this out...call it "training" if you will and peep the little girl's Palin moments in the background when the spotlight is not on her..::click cock::


But I guess anything's better than this (the parents, however, are soooo mean for the title, hilarious just the same)

Who knows? They could grow into this have faith!

And of course:


Good times...

Another funny woman...

She...and Matt Damon....People of the YEAR for SURE!!!

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

YO----OY!!!!!

P.s. I want a man that is Circumsupersized!

Is that a JOB?

A man riding the elevator with me on his cell phone: House what?....Oh House-sitting! Really?.......Like that's what he does?

I giggled from the tone in his voice, he stayed unaffected in his questioning.

Man: He gets by doing that?.....No like he really makes a living sitting houses???


LOL....

Out of the mouths of babes...

A 3, 5, and 7 year old decide to discuss the election:

7 y.o.: So who are you voting for?

5 y.o.: Obama!

3 y.o.: Yeah Obama!

7 y.o.: Me too. McCain is old.

Adult eavesdropping: What do you think about Palin?

5 y.o.: She scares me!

7 y.o.: Yeah she's a monster she wants to make war.

5 y.o.: She said she could see Alaska from her house!

Adult: You mean Russia?

5 y.o.: Yeah that too!

LMAO!

Oh R. Silly Kelly....

The famed Pedophile RnB has decided to speak out post trial on BET last night. I wish I could've been in the studio to add my audible commentary because this was ridiculous, however, I loved Toure's responses. (P.s. this is totally why I should be a commentator/host/interviewer...can't you imagine, it'd be hilarious!)

Toure: Let me ask you something real that millions of Americans are thinking about and wondering about you. Do you like teenage girls?
Kelly: When you say teenage, how old are we talking? (***Alarm numero uno...you JUST went through a trial and you STILL don't know what is considered under aged??? Someone call TO CATCH A PREDATOR!!!***)
Toure: Girls who are teenagers.
Kelly: 19?
Toure: 19 and younger.
Kelly: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don't like anybody illegal if that's what we're talking about, underage.
Toure: Uh-huh. Some people think that you like underage girls. What do you say to that?
Kelly: Those people don't know Robert. They don't know me. (***So it's you alter ego that does golden showers and your government that produces music???***)I usually don't get into what people think about me, because all my career — even before the trial — people had their opinions about Robert, you know. That's probably because, it had a lot to do with me kind of shying away from the crowd, ’cause I'm always in the the studio, digging deep into the basement all the time of my house, creating music. So when people don't know you, they can't touch you like they could someone else. They seem to form opinions or have thoughts about you that they like to, you know, think.
Toure: Some of the people who've worked with you have said there's an issue here. Your former manager has said publicly there's an issue of concern here. Your brother Carey has said there's an issue of concern here.
Kelly: Issue of concern? What do you mean when you say issue of concern?
(**Because concern is a big confusing word...)
Toure: They said that they're concerned that you like underage girls.
Kelly: Let me put it to you this way, man. It's unfortunate that people who don't work for me says that the people that do work for me don't say that, and the people who don't work for me were fired. If you have someone work for you and they're mad ’cause they're not working for you anymore and used to getting a certain amount of money or a certain amount of fame because they work for you, because you're famous, and all of a sudden they mess you around and you let them go — anything that comes up about you, they're gonna run and say, "Yeah, he did that to me! I knew this, too, about him." But you really can't, you know — I don't want you, I want my fans: Do not list to the people that was fired. Don't even listen to the people that was hired. Listen to the facts, and get into what you think and make your own opinion. If you're gonna have an opinion about me, have your own opinion of what you think about me. What you definitely don't do is go by somebody that was fired and mad and pissed off about you because they were fired.
Toure: But your brother Carey was not fired. He's your brother.
Kelly: He was fired. (***Translation Toure, "I fire everyone that threatens to tell...DUH! Blood or not!"***)
Toure: But he's still your brother.
Kelly: Doesn't matter. He's still my brother, but if he's so my brother [then] why'd he get fired?Toure: Why did he get fired?
Kelly: I can't get into that. … Unfortunately, it's like this: When you're me, when you're R. Kelly, everybody wants a piece of you, and if you don't give 'em a piece they'll find a way to get a piece of you one way or the other. I've been blackmailed a billion times in my career (***AHEM BECAUSE YOU LIKE LITTLE GIRLS!***) — before the trial, during the trial, after the trial — I've been sued for stuff that … ridiculous things. At one point in my life, I was an ATM machine. People would come up and push whatever, and if it don't come out they'll go tell somebody this or they'll go run and say this, run and say that. I'm used to that. I'm, you know — you don't get used to it. Let me take that back. I'm not used to it, but I'm used to the fact I know people will do this, sometimes even your own family members. I don't hate no one of 'em, but I know a lot of people will be out to get me ’cause I'm very vulnerable, man, especially during a seven-year trial.
Toure: So there's no issue here? They're all wrong, there's no issue here — that's what you're saying?
Kelly: It depends on who you say "they're all," and what they're saying.

Hmmmm....well, clearly the man has learned NOTHING! I remember getting my hands on the tape way back when and watching all 4 versions in my living room with my buddies and mama (remember that guys? good times!) and it was CLEARLY Robert. He also went on to say that he hopes everyone (this means YOU lol) lay off him since he was found innocent. Then a word to the wise, STOP TALKING, because you're NOT helping...

Ignorance is bliss

Last evening I attempted to partake in a little R&R with a new male suitor. I met him at the Purple Rain/Habana Outpost outing and sadly enough, my initial perceptions, once again, rang true. Not only was he not all he claimed he was cracked up to be on our initial meeting, but he would soon show a level of close-mindedness that I just can't tolerate in my house let alone a potential partner. To top it all off he kept talking, a lot of useless banter, but particularly through Entourage missing all the witty repartee and commenting on the most frivolous minutiae (sidebar: I said the word minutiae while with him and had every inkling he didn't know what it meant). Here are a few excerpts from our conversation:

About homophobia-we were talking about people coming out of the closet and homophobia in general and this was his stance

Boy I'll never see again: I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and they don't have to agree with it.

M.: OK that's fine and all but something like sexuality I don't think it's fair for ANYONE to have an opinion about that. That's ignorant. That's like a racist person who believes this, that, or the third just because you're black. That's not right. You can't control your race just as much as they can't control their sexuality.

B: yeah but just some random person is different. Like if my brother were to tell me he's gay, that's my BROTHER. And he's very close to me so my opinion is going to matter more. Just like if I was dating a girl that is wrong for me I would want him to tell me because I trust his opinion.

M.:So you're saying it's wrong for men to date men? You're slightly homophobic there.

B: No I'm saying it's ok for him to have an opinion about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

(Now realizing he's a complete idiot and wanting this to be over I said)
M.: OK but you're not hearing me. Having an opinion about choices is one thing. You can choose the wrong girl just as much as a gay person can choose the wrong mate. What I'm saying is having an opinion about them being gay altogether, is wrong. An example slightly more comparable would be if u were to date a woman out your race and your family was staunchly unsupportive of it.

Next he continued to argue his "right to opinion" argument for another 10 minutes of nonsense until I got quiet and then goes:

B: You don't like when people disagree with you do you? You're the type that just shuts down and gets mad?

M.: No I'm not mad at all and actually I love debate and discussion. It's why I was a political science major. However, when I recognize that someone isn't hearing or is closed off to something and discussion can't be achieved I choose not to waste my breath.

B: I am hearing you but you keep cutting me off. You done cut me off like 15 times so I think you're not hearing me.

M.: Ok then explain your point uninterrupted. Go ahead.

He proceeds to say the EXACT same points all over again. SO now it was time to shut it down once and for all.

M.: Are you done? (he chuckles and I calmly stated) The reason I kept cutting off your repetitive point, besides the fact that it was redundant, was because you were not listening. I had initially agreed that YES it is ok for people to have different opinions. It's how the world works and we are all different, shoot it's why I'm able to blog. Where I differed, while you wanted to continue on the same point, is that I think there is a problem within our society for people to form any kind of opinion about people based on things they can not change. This is why things such as racism, sexism, homophobia plague us because of ignorance. It's one thing to have differences of opinions on what type of music you like or who you date. But things you can not control that is not fair and outside of fellow human respect. And because you feel that way and some of the other comments you have made tonight it leads me to believe you may be slightly homophobic yourself.

Next he went into a tirade about how he agreed and disagreed with me calling him homophobic. Here's his winning rebuttal:

B: Ok if a woman wears booty shorts, is it fair that she feels uncomfortable around a group of men?

M.: (already seeing where this was going) Well honestly if that woman is wearing booty shorts and she feels uncomfortable, she's going to feel uncomfortable regardless of if she's around men or if she's around women. If she's self-conscious, that's a personal thing. That's not those men making her feel that way necessarily that's her own issue.

B: But it's going to be heightened around men. Like me I might not even be looking at her or want anything from her but I'm a dude and if she's around a bunch of men she's going to feel a certain way.

M.: Ok well whats your point?

B: Well with gay guys I think I have a right to feel uncomfortable because some of them are really aggressive and try to turn straight guys out.

M.:Are you serious right now?

B: Yes and they don't stop it's like a game to them or a sport.

M.: Ok so because a small...or maybe to you it's large, because this faction of a group is a certain way, it's ok to feel negatively towards an entire group.

B:No not an entire group but I think I'm allowed to feel uncomfortable in a room full of gay guys.

::Rolled my eyes::

B: Why are you rolling your eyes?

M.: Because just like ol girl in the booty shorts, that sounds like a personal issue and you're not comfortable with yourself and sexuality enough not to be threatened. Guy AND girls are consistently attracted to me, some from BOTH sides are very aggressive but just as much as I thwart off unwanted attention from male suitors I can with women because I'm not gay.

B: But you're a female...It's different. I think you should put a survey on your blog asking what's gayer Jay-Z kissing Nas or Madonna kissing Britney Spears?

M.: Did you really just say "gayer"? If you had ever READ my blog, which is now VERY apparent you haven't or wouldn't, something like that would never go up because the type of minds that subscribe to my blog would not participate in such nonsense.

He tried to keep going, but after he used the word "Gayer", I was really done and simply said:

M.:I think we should just end this conversation. It's pretty done.

He then proceeded to "lighten" up the situation by asking "getting to know you" questions like do I date outside of my race? Do I consider myself a feminist? I had to ask him what exactly his idea of feminism was before answering:

B: Like there's social feminism..

M.: (shocked he put a correct term together) And what is that to you?

B: Well do you think just because a woman dresses a certain way she this or that. Or there are certain ways a woman should carry herself in the streets.

M.: I honestly don't really adhere to any labels whatsoever so I wouldn't necessarily call myself a feminist and that isn't really it either. I try to sit on the side of what's right or just and respectful to my fellow beings. But as far as that, I make choices for myself and that's it. I'm sure I have friends who people would deem hoes or otherwise, both male and female but I don't judge them for their personal choices but rather who they are as people.

I didn't really get where this was all going...really I just think he was trying to redeem himself but here comes his shot to the foot. He proceeded to start making a bunch of blanket statements about "females" and then after my rebuttals or even earlier if you recall kept telling me "but you're female" so finally I stopped him and said:

M.: You know what I can't really entertain all this with you because you have these strict beliefs on how women are and they are so far off from how I am.

B: You take things really personally I'm talking in general.

M.: Ummmm, you keep making these direct statements about females and will shortly there after say 'but you're a female' so if that's not grouping me in what is? LOL (I pick up my phone and start texting my bff about the ridiculousness I was currently in)

B: Alright well you're texting so I guess I'll go.

M.: Ok bye.

And I didn't walk him out...

When I went downstairs to have a smoke, my roommate and his brother said he walked out like I took his manhood from him. But I mean really, I felt like I was doing my part to change a closed mind...I tried lol.

****UPDATE***** I finally got to watch Entourage, uninterrupted, and became even MORE pissed when I realized A. how many jokes I missed because of stoopid-face and B. I COMPLETELY missed Mark Wahlberg's cameo. I officially hate this guy lol.

Picture Perfect

Text from my mother:

Mama: It's 'seize' an opportunity not cease an opportunity -chk b4 the lines with the agent asking u how'd u get this gig in ur blog

M.: Are you always going to do this? (realizing it was a mistake to give my mother a subscription to Head Cases)

Mama: Yes bcuz the millions of dollars I spent on ur education isnt (aren't mom) going to waste

M.:Umm look how well I write, how many hits I have a day, ur critical of ONE typo in TEN posts a day... do you hear yourself?!

Mama:Perfection is the order of the day my little Maureen Odowd

M.: It's Maureen DOWD...perfectionist.

When I grow up....

I don't wanna be famous (yeah right), I don't wanna be a doctor or lawyer, I wanna be a fragrance person at Macy's Herald Square. This by far has to be THE most challenging, exhilarating job in the city next to working on Wall Street. A good few thousand people pass you everyday and your job is to entice them into buying new smell good products. Take the guy in the middle for example:

His approach was the "street" approach" if you will and as i walked by was yelling, yes yelling, to customers over Justin Timberlake, "Get the jump-off right here, the new Versace!" I was expecting him to say the new "Ver-sayce" (like in Showgirls if you're not catching my phonetic spelling).  But for the number of time these guys hit vs. the number of times they get ignored...I don't think I'm ready for that level of rejection. I'll stick to blogging and my day job....Plus I don't like that much gel....or name tags.

Poor SchafferNeyo

Girl 1: Poor Neyo and his hats.

Girl 2: Poor Neyo and his face. He looks like an exaggerated Cabbage patch gone terribly wrong.

New Jamaican Pride

Girl 1: So what are you Jamaican?
Girl 2: (with an angered look on her face) I'm not Jamaican! I'm Trinidadian
Girl 1: Sorry, sorry you guys get so angry with that. We Jamaicans may be crazy but we're the fastest in the woooooooooooorld!

LMAO!!!