It's a slow day...

Nobody has said anything stupid to the point of truly making me laugh...

I am counting down the hours to getting gussied up....HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANG! ;P

And nobody effed up today...what to do?

GRIPE!

Here's my top 10 reasons Tourists shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets of NYC:

10. They are constantly looking up at buildings or whatever else is up and just stopping. News flash visiting peddys, the sidewalks are JUST as busy as the streets! You're liable to lose a limb or get knocked into traffic for real for real (that's not a typo that's for emphasis). Buy a ticket for one of those double decker bus things that look oh so entertaining if you want to look at shit. The rest of us got places to go.

9. You're constantly walking against traffic and/or on the wrong side. Now this isn't just tourist, sometimes it's the bridge n tunnels folks and elderly. GET IT TOGETHER! It's not hard to fall in and get in where you fit in. Right side folks...this isn't Europe.

8. You walk beyond slower than street pace. It's not hard to notice we walk quick here so "When in Rome..." people....If you have no idea where you're going, get a map. Not those huge, intrusive things you have to figure out how to refold. Invest $5 dollars in a nice pocket package from Barnes and Noble. Nice, convenient and it won't make us all want to slap you for looking so stupid in the middle of the street and/or train.

7. You never want to break hands or split. Why, pray tell, must you make it difficult? Drop your hands for 5 flippin seconds and I PROMISE you will be reunited at least 2 steps after my passing...depending on your leg span.

6. You turn corners hard like there is no chance of anything coming around them. This should just be common sense. Unless you're looking for an instant lobotomy or bloody nose don't rush hard at a corner because the likelihood there's an idiot just like you that you will inevitably run into.

5. You're always in large groups. Breakup for pete's sake...we don't do carpool lanes!

4. You use phones when you already know you're not that advanced. Get real, you know you can't do 2 things at once so why put yourself and others at risk of sidewalk collision because you really have to talk about what happened on Gossip Girl.

3. You actually pay attention to the idiots on the side of the street that say crude things. UM HELLO! Giving them ANY kind of attention only encourages them! And it makes it worse for the rest of us who actually live here! Cease and desist IMMEDIATELY!

2. You block us street savvy folks from crossing the street. In New York, there's no such thing as jay-walking. It's a "go when you can type of city" so go people GO! Don't just sit on the curb in your large numbers making it so we can't get by!

1. YOU ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE A FRIGGIN SUITCASE OR SOME PULLEY DEVICE! What is with you people? Don't you have hotels? Somewhere to leave that stuff? I know it's a struggle to handle mass transit not to mention you're always getting someone's toe. Our streets are crowded enough without all your junk. Leave that mess at HOME....better yet YOU STAY THERE TOO! lol