Ignorance is bliss

Last evening I attempted to partake in a little R&R with a new male suitor. I met him at the Purple Rain/Habana Outpost outing and sadly enough, my initial perceptions, once again, rang true. Not only was he not all he claimed he was cracked up to be on our initial meeting, but he would soon show a level of close-mindedness that I just can't tolerate in my house let alone a potential partner. To top it all off he kept talking, a lot of useless banter, but particularly through Entourage missing all the witty repartee and commenting on the most frivolous minutiae (sidebar: I said the word minutiae while with him and had every inkling he didn't know what it meant). Here are a few excerpts from our conversation:

About homophobia-we were talking about people coming out of the closet and homophobia in general and this was his stance

Boy I'll never see again: I think everyone is entitled to their opinion and they don't have to agree with it.

M.: OK that's fine and all but something like sexuality I don't think it's fair for ANYONE to have an opinion about that. That's ignorant. That's like a racist person who believes this, that, or the third just because you're black. That's not right. You can't control your race just as much as they can't control their sexuality.

B: yeah but just some random person is different. Like if my brother were to tell me he's gay, that's my BROTHER. And he's very close to me so my opinion is going to matter more. Just like if I was dating a girl that is wrong for me I would want him to tell me because I trust his opinion.

M.:So you're saying it's wrong for men to date men? You're slightly homophobic there.

B: No I'm saying it's ok for him to have an opinion about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

(Now realizing he's a complete idiot and wanting this to be over I said)
M.: OK but you're not hearing me. Having an opinion about choices is one thing. You can choose the wrong girl just as much as a gay person can choose the wrong mate. What I'm saying is having an opinion about them being gay altogether, is wrong. An example slightly more comparable would be if u were to date a woman out your race and your family was staunchly unsupportive of it.

Next he continued to argue his "right to opinion" argument for another 10 minutes of nonsense until I got quiet and then goes:

B: You don't like when people disagree with you do you? You're the type that just shuts down and gets mad?

M.: No I'm not mad at all and actually I love debate and discussion. It's why I was a political science major. However, when I recognize that someone isn't hearing or is closed off to something and discussion can't be achieved I choose not to waste my breath.

B: I am hearing you but you keep cutting me off. You done cut me off like 15 times so I think you're not hearing me.

M.: Ok then explain your point uninterrupted. Go ahead.

He proceeds to say the EXACT same points all over again. SO now it was time to shut it down once and for all.

M.: Are you done? (he chuckles and I calmly stated) The reason I kept cutting off your repetitive point, besides the fact that it was redundant, was because you were not listening. I had initially agreed that YES it is ok for people to have different opinions. It's how the world works and we are all different, shoot it's why I'm able to blog. Where I differed, while you wanted to continue on the same point, is that I think there is a problem within our society for people to form any kind of opinion about people based on things they can not change. This is why things such as racism, sexism, homophobia plague us because of ignorance. It's one thing to have differences of opinions on what type of music you like or who you date. But things you can not control that is not fair and outside of fellow human respect. And because you feel that way and some of the other comments you have made tonight it leads me to believe you may be slightly homophobic yourself.

Next he went into a tirade about how he agreed and disagreed with me calling him homophobic. Here's his winning rebuttal:

B: Ok if a woman wears booty shorts, is it fair that she feels uncomfortable around a group of men?

M.: (already seeing where this was going) Well honestly if that woman is wearing booty shorts and she feels uncomfortable, she's going to feel uncomfortable regardless of if she's around men or if she's around women. If she's self-conscious, that's a personal thing. That's not those men making her feel that way necessarily that's her own issue.

B: But it's going to be heightened around men. Like me I might not even be looking at her or want anything from her but I'm a dude and if she's around a bunch of men she's going to feel a certain way.

M.: Ok well whats your point?

B: Well with gay guys I think I have a right to feel uncomfortable because some of them are really aggressive and try to turn straight guys out.

M.:Are you serious right now?

B: Yes and they don't stop it's like a game to them or a sport.

M.: Ok so because a small...or maybe to you it's large, because this faction of a group is a certain way, it's ok to feel negatively towards an entire group.

B:No not an entire group but I think I'm allowed to feel uncomfortable in a room full of gay guys.

::Rolled my eyes::

B: Why are you rolling your eyes?

M.: Because just like ol girl in the booty shorts, that sounds like a personal issue and you're not comfortable with yourself and sexuality enough not to be threatened. Guy AND girls are consistently attracted to me, some from BOTH sides are very aggressive but just as much as I thwart off unwanted attention from male suitors I can with women because I'm not gay.

B: But you're a female...It's different. I think you should put a survey on your blog asking what's gayer Jay-Z kissing Nas or Madonna kissing Britney Spears?

M.: Did you really just say "gayer"? If you had ever READ my blog, which is now VERY apparent you haven't or wouldn't, something like that would never go up because the type of minds that subscribe to my blog would not participate in such nonsense.

He tried to keep going, but after he used the word "Gayer", I was really done and simply said:

M.:I think we should just end this conversation. It's pretty done.

He then proceeded to "lighten" up the situation by asking "getting to know you" questions like do I date outside of my race? Do I consider myself a feminist? I had to ask him what exactly his idea of feminism was before answering:

B: Like there's social feminism..

M.: (shocked he put a correct term together) And what is that to you?

B: Well do you think just because a woman dresses a certain way she this or that. Or there are certain ways a woman should carry herself in the streets.

M.: I honestly don't really adhere to any labels whatsoever so I wouldn't necessarily call myself a feminist and that isn't really it either. I try to sit on the side of what's right or just and respectful to my fellow beings. But as far as that, I make choices for myself and that's it. I'm sure I have friends who people would deem hoes or otherwise, both male and female but I don't judge them for their personal choices but rather who they are as people.

I didn't really get where this was all going...really I just think he was trying to redeem himself but here comes his shot to the foot. He proceeded to start making a bunch of blanket statements about "females" and then after my rebuttals or even earlier if you recall kept telling me "but you're female" so finally I stopped him and said:

M.: You know what I can't really entertain all this with you because you have these strict beliefs on how women are and they are so far off from how I am.

B: You take things really personally I'm talking in general.

M.: Ummmm, you keep making these direct statements about females and will shortly there after say 'but you're a female' so if that's not grouping me in what is? LOL (I pick up my phone and start texting my bff about the ridiculousness I was currently in)

B: Alright well you're texting so I guess I'll go.

M.: Ok bye.

And I didn't walk him out...

When I went downstairs to have a smoke, my roommate and his brother said he walked out like I took his manhood from him. But I mean really, I felt like I was doing my part to change a closed mind...I tried lol.

****UPDATE***** I finally got to watch Entourage, uninterrupted, and became even MORE pissed when I realized A. how many jokes I missed because of stoopid-face and B. I COMPLETELY missed Mark Wahlberg's cameo. I officially hate this guy lol.